welcome to my world

I talked with the dad and mom of the sexually abused child today. they only spoke spanish. therefore i had to ask Mr. Cruz to interpret for me. He is the soccer coach and security guard but he is really good with the children. I have noticed that he has a genuine heart for the children who come from rough homes and he has that innate knowledge of when a child is troubled or in trouble. I can't talk about the situation with the child due to confidentiality but when it was over, tough Mr. Cruz just sat there after the parents left. (I did warn him prior to the conversation.) The parents are great parents and want to protect their child. It is just a rough situaiton. Anyway, I looked at Mr. Cruz and said..."welcome to my world"...he said, "miss kim, now i know why you sometimes look sad. you always come in to school with a big smile but then i see you during the day and at times you look so sad and then you are smiling again soon. now I know why you get sad, but how do you smile again?" i just told him i have to for the children - they depend on someone bringing happiness into to their lives and to let them know there is hope. I told him that he does that for them too - everyone here does. they just have to know someone cares even if we can't make it all better for them. We had a long talk about his own life. I knew it had to be hard because he tunes in so well. He did really good with the dad too. I wish he would go back to school for social work.

I cannot describe the feeling of walking to school in the morning and the children coming up to me to hold my hand and saying good morning, miss kim. they look so happy to see me and i am happy to see them. some of you have asked in emails if the boy who missed school is back. yes, he is and he is one that runs to hold my hand coming into school in the morning. I have a tough one in second grade (standard I - here). He just will not do his work. His mom left him and is with a step dad that is now in prison for drugs. he is with his dad but i just can't get a handle on what is going on - he has a tiny framed little 5 year old sister that just wants to go to the bathroom all the time but i can't tell what is going on - she just does't want to be in class it seems. I just can't reach this child and neither can one of the very best teachers. i need to spend more time with him.

My 4 little heathens...the group that i want to do a drama with? they have taken to making me things. I have a sparkly belize map with all their names on it. I have a cereal box that is cut up for a cardboard backing with tiny red construction paper hearts on it and now today they gave me what i think is suppose to be coasters. it is construction paper of different colors and there is a weave of strips of paper - there are 6 of these each about 3x4 inches. they proudly gave me these today. Oh - if anyone would like to send something for them - they love the shaped post-it note pads - like hearts or flowers. i had some in my office - no more though and now they want my star stickers! they just want me to give them something all the time but then they give me stuff they make. Ms. Francis is beside herself about these four as they come in one group to the office looking for me - she calls them my 4 wild ones. Well, they started talking serious instead of goofing off and i was told of all kinds of physical and verbal abuse that they each have sustained by various caregivers. They can really put some awful words together to tell what someone has yelled at them while hitting them. wonder why they are the problems? the other cool thing - these four were the outcasts - now the other children want to be in their play and the four are deciding who can be in their play...we are going to talk about inclusion tomorrow...that my friends is called the ole switcheroo...you just never know what will work do you?

and what else...another trip to the poly clinic...one of my old friends...a little jewelry seller came in with a stomach ache - pepto didn't do it...weird pains with no other symptoms - he is from san mateo so my guess was worms and i was right. we had more weird stomach aches today so i think it is time to worm everyone...i am told that i should be included - just lovely.

i am so afraid of the skin rashes the children get from getting the water around their homes on their skin. Remember there is no sewage system in san mateo. the rash is one thing but if they have a cut it will get into their system. One little girl died last year from this - i have yet to determine what it is - maybe i forget to look it up and find out on purpose? i will find out tomorrow - not before i go to bed tonight.

on a lighter note - the jerry jeff fans are in full swing tonight - i wanted to go to taco tuesday at wet willy's - couldn't because jerry jeff is playing and singing...they are all excited. i can hear it from my front patio.

another thing i love about san pedro - you can't walk far without hearing music. and another thing - i got told 3 times today that i could not have children as old as they are as I am only in my 30's! gotta love it. i also got told that my ex husbands made big mistakes and surely they know now how big their mistakes where to let me go...how much better can it get? that wasn't ernesto either. he bought me a cheesburger as i was working on the computer - love and miss you all!