Contentment...peace. I am almost there. I am sick as a dog but still content and at peace - I did not go to school today because I could not get two feet away from a bathroom. Woke up sick about midnight. One thing about it though, I am thoroughly cleansed and my ankle is no longer swollen. No fluids left in me. I went to the store awhile ago and got some soupa de pollo that I made from a packet. I had to figure out the directions in Spanish. I am on a mission to not eat anything with preservatives and trying very hard to not eat anything canned or packaged from US. Thought that could have caused the thorough cleansing but Susan had this before me. We were trying to figure out what caused it. One person said it might be that our salbutes were fried in pork lard. I have not touched pork since I have been here that I knew of...We know we had the same thing as we compared the horrifc smell - I'll not go there with you...Susan and I are much closer than we ever were!
I had a full day at Holy Cross yesterday. I am so busy when I am there and I had one particluar little girl that I was concerned about because she is so unhappy. I went to check on her and the second she saw me in the door of her classroom she began to cry - but she was tryng hard not to cry and the tears just flowed down her cheeks. I took her to my office and she would not sit down or come near me. I just sat there and let her cry. I held my hands out to her and after many minutes she began to inch toward me - little by little until she just fell into my arms. Her mom left for the U.S. in September but only after taking this child, her sister and a little brother to Honduras. The child's father retrieved the children and brought them back to San Pedro. Mom finally called over Christmas so the child knows she is alive but...said she was going to come back in March and take them back to Honduras. She told me she hates Honduras as she cannot speak spanish. I can't get any more from the child. It is going to take a long time for her to trust me. I just have that gut feeling - that - even though what I know is enough to upset her - there is more. she is smart but almost non communicative at times and just silently defiant about doing her work. She ran away from school in the past and says she hates school.
I spent a few hours talking with a my new friend, Ernesto, last night. Ok - I met this really great guy! There I said it. I met him during Kareoke night at Wet Willy's. Yep - I am becoming a Kareoke junky at this point. Susan and I sang Jambalya last sunday...what I love is that many of the folks here love the old country songs. They convinced me that it was "Try oke" and it does not matter if you sing bad as long as it is from the heart - just try. Back to Ernesto...he is very sweet to me and very attentive. He and I talk about everything and he loves to sing old country songs and then will sing something in various other languages...He is super polite and respectful and won susan's heart when he actually ate her spinach lasagne! Ok - I will stop. I am happy already but am very happy when he is with me.
At home - I am always concerned about what I need to do next. If I am sitting and doing nothing, I am wasting time. I plan and think all the time. My mind is never at rest. I forget things and get frustrated when I can't do it all. I try to keep my mind like it is in Belize but something takes it back over when I go home. Here - contentment and peace. I can be still and quiet and feel the air. I can watch the ocean or one palm blowing around. People talk about things that matter here - what is in their heart and what they love. I do not have to have a plan. Today - I was sick - so I will take today and rest. it is ok - no worries.
I walked to the grocery store and wanted to find some local soup. I found it and started to buy 2 packages. I thought why? I only need one now. why would I think I need two? i buy eveyrthing right before I need it and just what I need...except coffee and orange juice...boy this oj is good and is comes in a gallon jug...but you almost need that because it is so good. I have a vegetable stand, grocery store and hardware store on the road behind the house and the ocean on the other side...music at Wet Willy's and lovely friends. I have work that fulfills me and makes me feel needed. Peace and contentment. the only way it could be better would be to have my friends and family from the US here....love y'all!